“Elsweyr is an arid land of deserts and rocky canyons, where the sun
shines warmly, always. There are cities so ancient, the sands have
swallowed them whole. But now I will say no more, for I miss my home
greatly.” –Ri'saad, on Elsweyr
so i’ve installed this mod “skyrim is windy” which makes the foliage wiggle in the breeze more. but then i didn’t play the game because sometimes i just install a bunch of mods and move on to something else without trying them out. anyways. so then i went out to buy some food and i saw the wind playing with the tree branches and i legit thought “oh so the mod is working nicely” i made a few more steps before i realized…… yea scoob this is real life
ok this was me when i dropped a meat pie in the kitchen at 2am and for a solid 0.4 seconds i thought “it’s ok i’ll just load my quicksave”
I know theres old bellamont fanfic sitting on my drive somewhere from high school but I also know I was a um. A……edgy…… writer. So it’s sorta like I know I left myself cake but it could also be poisoned bc I Was Just Like That
Oh man lucien was in my dream last night. I gotta start by saying that it’s been years since I knew anything about DB spirituality, but I’m comparing this to how edgy the people in the DB are irt spirituality. Anyway.
So. I’m pretty sure he was from mexico, it was like this mix between tes and real life, probably a sort of modern au. This is probably only fascinating to me bc I fucking Live for religion, but there were multiple versions of sithis-based religion like there is christianity, one of them spoke about balance? Like the balance between life and death, not like new age circles talk about it where they focus on light, but closer to the idea of destruction and creation being the same thing. Less destruction based and more nature based, nature gives and nature takes. No excuses to kill, no need to give souls to sithis, but simply acknowledging that people must come and go from life… and that was like lu’s take on brotherhood spirituality. He like…. Worked for balance more than darkness, but very specifically he didn’t just worship Sithis but he worked with saints as well?? Specifically to keep himself in balance? He worked with Sithis and saints. Really interesting bc in the dream that really should’ve been seen as sacrilegious, but the brotherhood (or at least the black hand and his sanct.) completely accepted that that was his religion mostly bc he was super fucking good at what he did and they couldn’t lose him, partially bc it wasnt actually that destructive to have those views and also partially bc they knew working with saints wasn’t like in christianity. Dunno. Very interesting.
It was like. Fascinating. To see this uh…. I would say culturally significant version of spirituality but isn’t that exactly what religion is lmaO but this alternate version of the Dark Edginess of the DB, its so hard to describe bc it was all nuances and also I definitely know it was based on my completely foreign and under-educated understanding of non-christian saint worship/petitioning/etc, so i can’t really start describing it w/o encroaching immediately on talking about other people’s religions like…. I don’t even have Any connection to my own fijian/indian heritage’s spirituality let alone that of countries faaar away, but this. This totally different view of death. And Sithis himself was painted in such a way calmer, inviting tone. He was really like a father but not in a Dread way, in a “I will accept you if you come to me” way, uhhh.. It was like Sithis was a death/void deity, and then as that deity he was merged with the cultural idea of death to become death itself, like how the Christian God is believed to be one and the same with what some pagans see as Source you feel me (and then to him sithis Was death like to Christians God Is the source) Like….. Yeah. Super fascinating to see lucien translated to earth terms by my brain bc i was gonna say it’s interesting seeing him as a neutral force of the brotherhood but like… Huh, he’s really not as evil as i generally paint him to be. Dunno man this dream just felt so right irt to Lu and religion that i really wouldn’t be surprised if this was already a brand of tes-based PC paganism
I really just think they hit the nail on the head with the depth of character and the true grey area that bells is in as an antagonist. Granted it’s a dark grey area, but like….. When you think about the fact that Technically your side of the story caused it all its like uh. Hm. Who are you going to blame? It’s less grey as in its No Ones fault and more that its like…. huh…. guess we all had a hand in this…..
Like yeah it’s fun to fight against people who want to Wipe Out Your Family but its another thing to go through doing that and then be hit directly in the face almost outta nowhere by someone who’s been shadowing you who wants you destroyed for Wiping Out Their Family like. Oh shittttt! Completely forgot we The Brotherhood were the villains! I was having so much fun playing Vidya Gaems i forgot these people exist in the story and my actions have consequences for the narrative!
God it’s been years but i love bellamont
……..istg tho how many pages have i written on this blog about my love for bellamont probably with a shit tonne of repetition
taking a nap in balmora: you are homeless. it’s illegal to sleep in the gutter so you stumble to the nearest inn. the innkeeper doesn’t tell you which room is yours so you go upstairs and try every door until one opens. you find your bed and fall into it. you have a disturbing dream. when you wake up a dark brotherhood assassin crawls out from under the bed and kills you in three hits
oh yeah her Ultimate Form (jokes) probably looks a little something like this
like a big vaguely-dragon-shaped atronach. purposely vague (alongside laziness) bc i think she’d be very hard to see and also probably would still have bits of her human form that arent very……….. good to look at……..
i think its especially interesting bc shes really……. reserved, she never shows much of herself? she never really. yeah. Skin removed and physical form - which is a huge uh. conflict?? mortal or daedra?? too daedric to be mortal, too mortal to be daedric - is finally gone and theres wings and theres fire and theres magicka and a vague form. Its just a sketch, but the idea of her form finally matching her spirit which like. isnt in an otherkin way shes not really like dragonkin its more like she feels like a dragon as someone intimidating and powerful and fierce and elemental, someone who specifically commands with their voice. its more of a metaphorical thing than a I Am A Dragon way bc shes very specifically not, thats the whole db versus origin thing. anyway
look. finally she doesnt have to choose a personality to front to the world, she can exist as a conduit, a pure medium of what she is as a mage - magicka. she IS her magic, thats how she got so “”good””. its definitely painful in a physical way and also in a way that…. You know those eventual huge breakdowns with tears and screamin and all that, its hard but its also just as much of a huge relief? its probably like that to lose her form. yea. thanks for coming to my ted talk on origin bc apparently thats just how it is
i love how fainde basically appeared and never was drawn much and then disappeared from my blog in 2015/16 and never ever was developed and yet………….. hes still a huge part of origins story
actually now that i think about it. wow. thats really………… thats what happened huh. they were separated in cyrodiil at the end of the crisis and then reunited after everything in skyrim in that era. they have maybe 5 years maximum together planned in their lore out of the whole 200-220+ years of their stories. makes sense tbh.
also the funny thing about that first pic is faindes like slightly shorter than the typical altmer and origin is Way Taller than the typical so like that first pic……….. bro
